Vesta Digital Blog

5 Ways to Prevent a Facebook Marriage Break-Up

Posted on: March 26, 2010

Facebook MarriageEver since the internet became a regular part of the human experience, it has been implicated for breaking up marriages. Now Facebook is being met with these kind of charges. It is the most popular gathering place in the world today, but it doesn’t have to be a threat to your marriage.

Marriages are vulnerable to all kinds of real-life and online threats. This is partly because couples fail to set up proper boundaries of protection and accountability. If you follow the guidelines on the list below and keep an open line of communication and honesty with your spouse, you can enjoy Facebook and your marriage as well.

First, here are some warning signs:

Too Much Time – If you prefer staying up at night with Facebook instead of going to bed with your spouse, it is going to be a problem.

Flirting – You may think flirting is innocent, but your spouse may not. Consider your partner’s feelings and there will be no room for jealousy.

Airing Grievances – Many people complain about their spouse on their status updates. Your spouse might see this and so may your mutual friends.

Affairs – It is very easy to have an affair on Facebook. You can reconnect with old flames and make new friends. If you discuss your problems on Facebook instead of with your spouse, it is going to be a problem.

Here are five ways to prevent a Facebook marriage break-up. These were written in an excellent article entitled “Is Facebook a Cyber Threat to Your Marriage?” by K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky.

1) Set Safeguards With Your Partner

What Facebook friends and groups are off limits? How much information about yourself and family is too much information? Are either of you uncomfortable with potential Facebook friends? A little bit of prevention can go a long way in safeguarding your relationship.

2) Don’t Post Negative Things About Your Spouse

It is common for people to talk about the weather, joke about work or report something new in their life. But it is always uncomfortable when someone complains about their spouse or kids. While it may not seem like a big deal to the one posting, the majority of the readers don’t have enough information to know if something is a simple tease or an exasperated gripe.

3) Choose Your Friends Wisely

Finding friends and accepting friend requests can be very exciting because you’re reconnecting with people from your past. One question to ask when requesting or accepting a new friend is – “Will my spouse be comfortable with this person?” Listen to your heart and if you’re still not sure, ask your spouse.

4) Play It Smart

A common pattern arises when you read stories about internet affairs. A spouse starts chatting with someone of the opposite sex about their relationship woes. Over time, the live chats turn to emails that turn to phone calls that turn to face-to-face meetings that turn to…you get the picture.

Learn from other people’s mistakes. Avoid discussing your relationship difficulties with people of the opposite sex and be careful of developing too close of a confidant online.

5) If In Doubt, Unfriend Them

You may have regrets becoming a friend with someone on Facebook. Their posts might be offensive or uncomfortable to you. Maybe the friend sparks feelings in you. You may be chatting with them or flirting with them. Or your spouse may be uncomfortable with your being friends with a past love interest. The best thing to do is unfriend them. Any relationship with someone else that may jeopardize your marriage is not worth keeping.

We hope this helps you and your spouse enjoy all the advantages of Facebook and none of the disadvantages.

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